Blog Posts by Brooks Peck

  • Team mascots are almost always strange abominations of nature that have the ability to elicit joy from a crowd while also stealing souls through the eyes of non-believers. So it's only fitting that the unveiling of a new mascot capture this odd concoction of menace and glee.

    The NASL's San Antonio Scorpions, who you might remember as the club that recently bought a striker for free lodging and transportation, managed to pull this off at halftime of their home opener against Minnesota United. After teasing fans with a "mystery egg" featured in a slick advertising campaign that featured the photoshopped image of the club's president sitting atop a giant egg (below), the Scorpions delivered with a spectacle that is unlikely to be matched in this lifetime.

    (San Antonio Scorpions FC/Facebook)

    A camouflage humvee accompanied by military personnel was driven out onto the pitch with a large and unstable structure that looked vaguely like an egg (or maybe a spotted mountain?) loaded onto the back of it. Upon reaching the middle

    Read More »from NASL club unveils new mascot with delightfully bizarre halftime presentation
  • Blackpool assistant coach sent off for hitting his own player in the face

    The match between relegation threatened Blackpool and promotion hopefuls Burnley proved interesting for reasons other than the football. First, Blackpool supporters forced the match to be momentarily halted early on when they threw tennis balls and oranges onto the pitch in a prearranged protest against the club's owner, Karl Oyston and the lack of investment that has put the club in danger of dropping further down the Football League after their one season in the Premier League in 2010/11.


    The protest would prove to be a high-point on the day for Blackpool though, as assistant coach Bob Malcolm brought the club to a new low when he hit Stephen Dobbie, one of Blackpool's own players, in the face during an animated argument just before Dobbie entered the match in the 70th minute. Dobbie still came on despite the altercation, but Malcolm, who was ruling the touchline with an iron fist while caretaker player-manager Barry Ferguson was on the pitch, was sent to the stands by the match

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  • Marseille striker threatens to sue Burger King over Whopper ad

    Hefty Marseille striker Andre-Pierre Gignac is threatening legal action against Burger King over a newspaper ad poking fun at his weight. The fast food chain is taking a second crack at the French market and as part of their relaunch, they decided to use a twist on PSG fans' popular "a Big Mac for Gignac" chant.

    So they swapped out the name of McDonald's burger for their own in an ad that appeared in Marseille newspapers.

    This reportedly upset Gignac (perhaps because they didn't actually give him any Whoppers), whose lawyer is now threatening legal action for unauthorized use and denigration of the striker's name. Gignac has scored 19 goals in all competitions this season and he's currently joint-third on the list of Ligue 1's top scorers. So if he is eating lots of burgers, it seems to be working for him.

    - - - - - - -

    Brooks Peck is the

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  • Spurs have announced that they're not asking for Real Madrid to give them back Gareth Bale, but if the Spanish giants decide to do it on their own, it would be very, very nice of them. This comes after Bale scored the winning goal against Barcelona in the Copa del Rey final in dramatic fashion, while Tottenham hope to retain sixth place in the Premier League.

    "We're not proposing that Real Madrid return Gareth to us in exchange for their money back because we've already spent all of the money on seven lottery tickets," Spurs chairman Daniel Levy mumbled to himself while eating his breakfast this morning. "So that's out. But if Real Madrid would like to just give Gareth Bale back to us as a gift, it would be impolite to refuse. And we certainly wouldn't want to be rude to such a kind, generous, understanding and dare I say handsome club."

    Spurs have regressed this season without the star who scored seven match-winning goals for them last year. The seven players brought in last summer

    Read More »from Future News: Tottenham declare that it would be nice if Real Madrid just gave Gareth Bale back to them
  • Thousands of fake World Cup trophies confiscated in China

    While the real World Cup trophy continues its global tour before meeting its new owner in Brazil, Chinese authorities have confiscated thousands of fakes intended to be sold in different corners of the planet. The latest haul discovered by Chinese customs officers in Yiwu consisted of 1,020 golden counterfeit trophies that were on their way to be sold in Libya. Before that, 1,008 fake trophies were found about 490 miles of Yiwu in Xiamen.

    The real World Cup trophy is made of 18 carat gold with two layers of green malachite in the base. A gold-plated replica is given to the winning nation to keep, since FIFA learned their lesson after the tournament's original prize — the Jules Rimet trophy — was stolen twice: once while on display in England in 1966 and then again in Brazil, who were allowed to keep it forever after winning it a third time, in 1983. It has never been recovered.

    The busts in China are part of a larger crackdown on items infringing on football related copyrights ahead of

    Read More »from Thousands of fake World Cup trophies confiscated in China
  • Cristiano Ronaldo consoles Lionel Messi after the Copa del Rey final

    Hey bud. You OK? I'm sorry you lost, but, you know, someone had to. And I'm glad it wasn't us. So that's...a...tough one.

    It's a shame we couldn't play tonight. Oh, you did play? Well good for you! Maybe I was just watching my teammates and the players who scored goals too closely. That's probably why I didn't see you out there. By the way, do you like my hat? I'm trying to make suits with a baseball cap the new thing. I'm pretty sure it's working. I'd say you should try it, but then you would look like you're trying to copy me. Maybe you should do a fedora with a tracksuit. It's just an idea, but it could work for you. Think about it. Not right now, of course, but sometime within the next day or so.

    Anyway, how about that Gareth Bale, huh? He reminds me of you, but bigger and faster and not as sad right now. Actually, I guess that makes him more like me. Are you sure you're doing OK? Can I get you anything? We're probably going to have some champagne left over once we're done

    Read More »from Cristiano Ronaldo consoles Lionel Messi after the Copa del Rey final
  • Atlanta awarded MLS's 22nd team, will share new stadium with NFL's Falcons

    Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank has officially been awarded an MLS team that will begin play in 2017. This will push the size of the league to 22 teams, with four scheduled enter the league over the next few years — New York City FC and Orlando City in 2015, Atlanta in 2017 and David Beckham's Miami team yet to be determined.

    Though this burst of expansion is an exciting show of the league's growth, the stadium situations for each new club are less than ideal. After making an odd attempt at a grand entrance by landing in a helicopter, MLS commissioner Don Garber announced that the Atlanta team will share the Falcons' new stadium, using a new "downsizing technology" to shrink the 70,000-seat, $1.2 billion stadium to a more intimate 29,000 seats for soccer once it is completed. It will have artificial turf, but Blank vowed that the American football lines would not be visible on the field, which drew the biggest cheer of the announcement.

    This follows the New York Times report that

    Read More »from Atlanta awarded MLS's 22nd team, will share new stadium with NFL's Falcons
  • With Cristiano Ronaldo unable to play in the Copa del Rey final due to injury, Gareth Bale, one of the most expensive footballers in the world, stepped up and scored a later winner for Real Madrid with a tremendous burst of speed. And he did it against Barcelona, no less.

    Angel Di Maria opened the scoring in the 11th minute for Real Madrid and the lead held into the second half. Marc Bartra did come up with an equalizer for Barca in the 68th minute, but his night would soon get much, much worse.

    In the 88th minute, Bale knocked the ball out in front of himself as he battled with Bartra near the touchline. The Barca defender forced Bale off the pitch, but this prompted the Welshman to turn on his exceptional speed, making Bartra look like he was running in sand as Bale beat him to the ball and scored the winner. Cristiano Ronaldo partied in the stands like every other Madridista watching and the Barcelona fans made their feelings known by giving Bale the finger as he celebrated with

    Read More »from Gareth Bale speeds past Marc Bartra to score Copa del Rey winner, Ronaldo goes nuts in the stands
  • Sunderland goalkeeper Vito Mannone lives out his worst nightmare

    Last-place Sunderland were minutes away from a shocking 2-1 win over the best-paid team in the world, Man City. The win would've given Sunderland hope that they could somehow avoid relegation, but instead the scene was set for goalkeeper Vito Mannone to endure the longest moment of his life.

    A low shot from Samir Nasri in the 88th minute seemed easy enough for Mannone to deal with, but after it hit him square in the hands, the ball squirted away from the former Arsenal keeper and started trickling towards the goal. In his desperation to stop it, Mannone attempted to will his uncooperative body after it, moving like a snake pumped full of tranquilizers. Despite this torturous eternity, the ball ended up in the net and City got their late equalizer.

     Mannone's pain was all of the pain ever felt by mankind.

    (AP Photo/Rui Vieira)

    (AP Photo/Rui Vieira)

    The match ended in a 2-2 draw, though Nasri had a chance to score a winner for City moments after his

    Read More »from Sunderland goalkeeper Vito Mannone lives out his worst nightmare
  • PAOK lost the first leg of their Greek Cup semifinal 2-1 at Olympiacos, so their fans were eager to create an intimidating atmosphere for the return leg. To do this, they turned the stands into a giant ring of flares and smoke as the players walked out onto the pitch before kickoff, creating a surreal hellscape that would surely intimidate just about anyone.

    As the players lined up for handshakes, stewards picked up the flares thrown onto the pitch while the stands disappeared behind massive clouds of smoke. But as dangerous as this might look, it's actually very tame compared to the far more violent fan activities at Greek matches in recent years.

    The match was delayed, however, due to all the flares and the fact that PAOK fans put fish all over Olympiacos' bench. Seriously.

    The antics of PAOK

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